The Unexpected Email

I was checkin thru my emails to see if anyone responded to my post of the sale of pups at 'PetLoversCenter Forum'. Unexpectedly, there ARE!! Total 4 replies in exact!! Hmm.. so i mus quickly decide on how much i'm intending to sell them at, when they can b viewed, & etc..

While browsin thru the emails, something caught my attention... the 4 letters word - 'FRED'. It's an automated email sent from the Frdster Group, informin tat he'd updated his frdster blog recently. Since he seldom do updates on his blog, being curious of how he's doin, i clicked on the link...

My browser automatically opened up a new tab, directing me to his blog... Moments later, there it is, his latest post greeting me...

Art's gone

Today is just another normal day.... but today i hope will be a day where by, a very different for my baby and myself.... the art's gone.... hope that will let her understand.... the art is no longer important.... hope that it will not affect her anymore.... hope you will realize it very soon.... love you.....

August 01, 2007

Somehow, i guess i know exactly wat he's saying... the art... must be his tattoo of my name (below pic)... as quoted above, "... the art is no longer important.... hope that it will not affect her anymore....". I'm tinking, wat else more can it be?


His blog, 2 previous posts below 'Art's Gone', somehow related tat his GF is troubled due to certain reasons - Friends (i tink), and it caused their relationship some hiccups.

HaizZz... can't describe how i'm feelin rite now.. but it's definitely not sadness... it's like reading a story kind of feeling, yet knowin in-depth details compared to all other readers... I've been seeing him like a normal frd nowadays.. All these while, i've put my attention on other things, not allowin myself to tink of the past regardin him... Life's been hard enough these months, why indulge myself in deeper sorrow? Especially since i know he's now someone else's and definitely not possible. In his case, I jus completely dun tink. Funny, dunno why too.. maybe i alady knw he's attached le ba... Those memories, his gentleness, lies, the good & bad, are past tense le...

Gradually as i grow older, been thru personally in certain situations, made me understand tat in terms of relationship, there's reli no one to blame particularly, especially so if u've ever tried to picture urself in the other party's shoe... Sometimes tink tat the things u did was rite, but on the other hand, logically, the things tat the other did wasn't considered wrong either.. If you were in his/her situation, most probably or maybe would have done the same... Ended up? Confusing ownself?! Not tinkin abt the past (not lookin back) is reli beta... cos its only natural to link back who/wat causes tis/tat... and definitely somehow our own actions had its contributions in certain ways, because if 1 party had not done tis, the other wouldn't had done tat... Ultimately, will cause one to start tinkin "IF ONLY tat time, i wasn't like tis, or have not done tat"... Feelings of remorse slowly crawl all over you while doin so, blamin ownself for those past actions / speech, and eventually causes u to become WEAK... Sad to say, like wat i've experienced... Complicated feelings with no right or wrong answers... just silent torture of regrets & remorsement... I guess... until the day one has forgiven his / her ownself, truly convinced & willing to let go of it all...